Last night, my husband and I went to see Sting and Paul Simon in concert together. It was three hours of fantastic music, two phenomenal bands on stage and trips down memory lane as they played classics dating from …okay, let’s not think about when they dated from.
There were many highlights – how could there not be – but one of them was during the encore when the two of them sang ‘Every Step You Take’.
I’ve always loved this song, despite its connotations of stalking.
But as I danced and sang along at the top of my voice (unpleasant for those within listening range), I heard the lyrics in a different context.
This song is about diabetes. (Well, maybe Sting didn’t intend it to be when he wrote it, but in my warped mind where diabetes constantly appears even when I’m not looking for it, I say the song is about diabetes.)
At times, diabetes intrudes on every part of my life. And it watches and it responds to everything. Every step, every move, every breath – it reacts.
And every vow I break? Every time I miss a diabetes task, deliberately or because I just simply can’t do face it, results in a correlating response from diabetes – going low, going high and everything that then brings.
At those times, it does seem like I belong to it; that diabetes dictates and makes all the rules.
It is actually pretty dire when I think about it.
Unless I turn it around. What about if it is me watching diabetes? What about if I am the one who is watching and responding and reacting and making confident decisions?
I see just how much better I am mentally since feeling that I am back in the driver’s seat. Having the emotional capacity to be in this position was the first step, and once firmly seated, my confidence has started to return. And with that, my ability to simply deal with the tasks at hand.
It is not that I am seeing perfect numbers on my meter (that would be a cure). But I am seeing numbers on my meter. And that is a huge step.
Plus when the numbers are out of target – oh-so-freaking-frequently – I shrug, fix it and move on.
I’m watching. And with every breath, every move, every step, I am making progress.