I’ve been thinking about the word chronic recently. It’s a word that gets thrown around a lot in health. Simply put (although there is nothing simple about it!), when used in relation to health conditions, it means ‘ongoing or constantly recurring’.

Diabetes fits quite nicely into the definition. It’s a bit of both – and ongoing component with a constantly recurring nature too. As far as I’m concerned, the ‘ongoing’ part of diabetes is a given.

Undeniably, it gets me down; of course I get sick of it. But to a degree, I just have to accept it. It’s there  and it’s not going anywhere.

The real issue – the thing that makes it extra rough – is the ‘constantly recurring’ side of things. I am really not so good at this stuff; the things that go away and then reappear. That is the part that makes it difficult.

With diabetes, those recurring things – whether it be a round of nasty hypos or high BGLs that won’t go away and are really tough to understand or explain – are always harder for me to manage after a period of diabetes just chugging along.

Perhaps I get lulled into a false sense of security and the sudden ‘crap-ness’ throws everything into chaos. Perhaps I have this ridiculous idea that with almost seventeen years under my belt I should be better at diabetes than I am. Perhaps it’s the fact that I like routine and once I’ve settled into one, I don’t like to have to change for any reason. (Perhaps that last sentence could be condensed into two words: ‘I’m stubborn’.) 

I’m not sure, but what I do know is that, in amongst the crap, I can – at least, I need to – summon up an attitude of ‘this too shall pass’. Because I know it will. It may take longer than I’d like, it may be harder to get through. But I know that it will pass.

And then, I will be left with the ongoing stuff. The life-long, never-ending, forever nature that is a chronic health condition like diabetes.

burn out and come back again.

 

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