You may not have noticed, but the festive season is upon us. (Actually, according to Woolies, the festive season has been upon us since the first week of September which was when I first saw mince pies on their shelves. And as Louden Wainwright III says ‘It’s a season, it’s a marathon….’ Sorry; digression.)

Anyway, it’s the festive season and with it comes lots of messaging about eating with diabetes during this time of the year. Now, I’d like to leave my diabetes behind whilst eating during the holidays, but I’ve come to learn that diabetes is a shit and doesn’t work that way. Because, diabetes IS for Christmas….and every other bloody day of the year as well. Happy holidays!

I saw an article this morning about how to keep your eating and drinking in check during Xmas and other parties, and by the time I finished reading, I was weeping uncontrollably and wanted to shoot myself. (Except not really because I’m a huge supporter of gun control and don’t own a gun.) I also wanted a drink, but it was 6.45am and I was feeling the judge-y eyes of the writer staring at me and the Moscow Mule I was about to make for breakfast.

All articles about diabetes and festive-season-eating demand limiting everything – alcohol, food, happiness. Quite frankly, limiting alcohol at family gatherings is not an option for many people, which seems to be lost in the horrific and laughable suggestion of taking your own water to water down drinks. (I lost the will to live at that suggestion.)

Obviously, a blow-out is best avoided, but that is wise even if you don’t have diabetes. There is nothing worse than feeling as though you literally cannot move from the sofa – mostly because it means you could be stuck sitting next to a distant relative who wants to tell you, in detail, about their recent adventure in passing kidney stones, or (worse) about their neighbour who died from diabetes complications. Diabetes – the gift that keeps on giving.

So, here are some of the things I’ll be doing to survive the next few weeks.

  • Acknowledge that this time of year is about food and that is okay. This is definitely the case for my family, and I am already counting down the days until I gorge myself on my mother’s freshly made zippoli.
  • Throw any thoughts of guilt out the window (along with suggestions of BYO H2O).
  • Make a game out of my CGM by seeing if I can spell out any swear words in the ain’t no mountain high enough/valley low enough trace.
  • Remember that even though I have diabetes, I have every right to enjoy whatever I feel like eating. Or don’t feel like eating. The low(er) carb thing may or may not stick over the festive period. Obviously, my mother’s zippoli are carb- and fat-laden parcels of perfection, so the low(er) carb thing can fuck right off once they are set down in front of me, but I probably will still avoid other carb-y things because dealing with high glucose levels or inadvertently overdosing on insulin does not a festive occasion make.
  • Seriously, give me a huge bowl of cherries for dessert and I am a happy chicken. (The non-watered-down alcohol has probably helped get me to that state, but cherries also make me undeniably happy.)
  • Brush up on my responses to ’Should you be eating that?’, which (thankfully) I probably won’t need to use anyway. Funny how I only ever needed to hit someone once over the head with a spoon after they asked me that…
  • Find red and green Sharpies and write ‘My Diabetes; My Rules’ in festive script on the inside of my hand to remind me to do whatever works for me. And to shove in the face of anyone who does actually ask ‘Should you be eating that?’
  • Thank the Xmas angels that Brunetti in Carlton is open on Xmas morning, meaning that we can make the ten-minute dash there, drink coffee and eat pastries before the onslaught of family, food and festivities.
  • Make a donation to a diabetes-related charity because not everyone gets to decide if they will use extra insulin to cover the second slice of passionfruit pav. Here are three ideas:

Spare a Rose, Save a Child

T1International

Insulin for Life Global

This blog is not about giving advice, but I am going to give some now as I believe this is possibly one of the best ways to survive until the end of the year:

Don’t read any articles telling you to eat nothing but cardboard or watered-down grog. Or suggesting you take your own plate of crudités to parties. I don’t care that it’s a French word, it just means carrot sticks. And having spent the festive season in France, I can tell you no one was serving carrot sticks for the family Xmas dinner. Plus, if I’d taken my own, I probably would have been mocked in French, and not been allowed to drink any of the delicious non-watered-down red wine or bûche de Noël for dessert.

Here’s some Louden Wainwright III. He makes everything better. (Bonus points if you know his character in M*A*S*H…without consulting Dr Google for the answer!)

Advertisements