I had an appointment with my endocrinologist the other day.

My appointments with my endo don’t really take a particular form, because she absolutely lets me drive the agenda.

Having said that, they do start the same way. She asks me how I am, and then sits, looking at me until I finish answering. My response may be ‘good thanks…’ and the off we go. Or it may be a much longer response. Or, it may involve me bursting into tears two and a half minutes after sitting down. But she never interrupts or looks away, instead, focusing on me and what I am saying. Occasionally she may make a note on the notepad in front of her (she doesn’t take notes on the computer during the consultation). I feel I have her full attention the whole time.

This week, as I was making my way to the appointment, I thought about what my attitude towards my diabetes has been recently, and the word that came to mind was ‘meandering’.

I’m not really in a diabetes rut, but equally, I don’t particularly feel like I have any goals that I am working towards. I’m just wandering around, doing what I need to, stopping every now and then to have a look around, maybe sitting down sometimes and admiring the view, and then getting back on my feet and heading back off in a different, or maybe the same direction. Drifting is probably the right word.

I don’t really feel bad about it – my CGM numbers don’t scare me too much. Hypos are manageable and not too frequent. I calibrate my CGM, I bolus insulin before or as I sit down to eat. Last week I started to think about basal testing in a burst of focus and dedication. Basically, I am just going along, albeit aimlessly.

While that’s okay, it kinda makes endo appointments difficult. I did have a few things I needed to get done: VicRoads were asking for my first born child medical review (again), and I needed my usual diabetes-related screenings done. It had been a rather long time since my last A1c. I wanted to know what my bloody pressure was. But that was really all the ‘tasks’ I had planned.

And I also wanted to have a chat about my new eating attitude. It’s been quite a while since I’ve been eating lower carb. Sometimes I am more commuted to it than other times. But generally, I know that I am eating between 50 and 80 grams of carbs a day.

While I wasn’t looking for approval, I certainly did want to hear what she had to say about my new approach to food and my diet. She listened to me explain the changes I’d made and the reasons behind them. And the results I was seeing. I explained that I felt better overall and was really pleased with what I was seeing in my CGM trace as a result of my decisions.

Our discussion was brilliant. She nodded at what I was saying and answered some questions I had about the science of low(er) carb eating. She drew me some graphs that really put into perspective some of the things I’d been wanting answers to. We spoke about where there was evidence, but also where the evidence was lacking. The thing I loved was that at no point was I made to feel that a lack of evidence means that I shouldn’t be doing what I’m doing, or that I am silly for even trying it.

There is a reason that I choose health professionals like my endo to be work with. I have heard many other HCPs absolutely reject someone’s treatment choices. Low carb eating is one of those choices that does seem to cause such dismissals! But our discussion was open, without any judgement at all.

I walked away from the appointment feeling that I was better informed about what I was doing and energised to keep going. I felt engaged and focused, armed with information to make smarter choices.

And I felt grateful (yet again) to have this particular health professional alongside me on this diabetes road, even if I am just meandering sometimes.

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