The term ‘mansplaining’ has made its way into modern language – and with good reason.

But I’d like to get ‘diabsplaining’ in there, too. Recently, I’ve had a few diabplaining episodes that have left me shaking my head (and making up words…).

In all of these cases, the person doing the diabsplaining didn’t have diabetes. And yet, they felt that I needed their advice on how to live with, and how to feel about, the health condition that I’ve been managing for the last nineteen years.

I am always happy to speak about diabetes and answer any questions people have. (Provided, of course that people are polite and respectful.) But I don’t appreciate unsolicited advice and explanations, or someone thinking they know more about my diabetes than I know. (Spoiler alert: no one does.)

These are just some of the gems that have been fired in my direction recently:

‘You know, someone at my work has diabetes and they don’t seem to have all the things you have to manage it. Maybe you should try to simplify what you are doing. You don’t need all of those things.’

‘Diabetes is a really easy to manage condition if you just eat the right foods. Do you eat the right foods? Let me tell you the foods that are good for diabetes.’ 

‘You shouldn’t worry about diabetes. You look really healthy. There is no need for you to worry.’

‘Your preoccupation with how people speak about diabetes is ridiculous. There is no need to stress out about that. Do you think you really need to be so concerned about it? Instead, you should channel that energy into something else…’ (There was no suggestions as to what else I could channel all that wasted energy into…)

With diabetes being a health issue with considerable attention, it makes sense that people want to have a say. I am actually all for that! I think that we need to have people speaking about diabetes and hearing about it too.

But the best people to drive the conversation has to be people actually affected by diabetes – not those who only think they know about it, or have become armchair experts because they saw a Michael Mosley doco on the issue!

Plus, those of us who are living with diabetes who have concerns or fears or a focus on any particular issue, or are managing our diabetes in a certain way don’t need to be told that we are unnecessarily ‘overdoing it’ or could be doing it better.

So, how did I respond to these comments? Not as ferociously as I would like, to be honest. But equally, not in the manner in which I really would like. It’s bloody hard to keep myself nice when I feel that someone is trying to enlighten to me when I really just want them to shush. Because as arrogant as this makes me sound, the chance that someone has something new to tell me about how I could better think or deal with my diabetes is slim to none.

It’s actually very tiring being on the receiving end of these sorts of comments. I don’t always want to be in ‘diabetes education mode’. I don’t feel equipped sometime to have to defend the way I feel, or explain why I do something to keep myself as healthy as I can. Diabetes is hard enough without having to justify myself. And I don’t need anyone to explain the finer details of diabetes, especially when there are far more interesting things we could be talking about. Such as these awesome ninjabread cookie cutters.

 

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